Paul Pelosi Gets Hammered With Homeless Nudist Friend After DUI Plea
San Francisco, CA – House speaker Nancy Pelosi's husband, Paul, got drunk last May and crashed into a Jeep. After presenting his Get out of Jail Free card, he was released and given probation.
On Friday, he tried to get drunk again by getting hammered with a homeless nudist friend at his house. Looking for a drink, the friend asked Paul “where is Nancy?” Paul told the friend Nancy was in Washington, D.C. and to tie him up and fix them a drink.
The nudist friend was upset to only find screw top Trader Joe's chardonnay and stripped down to his underwear in frustration and to get cozy. “How are we expected to get hammered drinking this?,” said the friend. Resourcefully, the homeless friend found a hammer. Paul stuck the handle in his mouth and sucked on it like a drink just as his friend showed him.
Police officers suddenly crashed the party. The startled friend grabbed the hammer away from Paul and began hitting him in the head to make him tipsy before the party ended. Regretably, the officers stopped the hammering putting an end to the fun.
The fast action of the officers stopped Paul from trying to get behind the wheel of his BMW. This made the friend angry. He scolded the officers, “now he can’t drive me to the gay club for a nightcap!”
We are relieved to report that Paul is in the hospital recovering from his hangover. Meanwhile, Democrats are blaming Republicans for the hangover because they use hammers to build things.