White Ablest Oppress the Indigenous Uncreative with Fascist Tools of Scissors and Tape at Cardboard Sled Race!
Grand Haven, MI - The white Grand Haven Area Public Schools recently held a Cardboard Sled Race. It's no coincidence that they gathered at “White” Pines Middle School. There families built with school supplied cardboard, scissors, and tape sleds to merrily sled down hills of “white” snow, completely insensitive to local (indigenous) uncreative families who do not have the imagination and skills (merit) to build their own cardboard sleds.
Ex-director of the ex-Ottawa County DEI, Robbing Awokie, righteously screeched into a bullhorn outside the school building the social injustice of this event. “Abelist!” Awokie screeched next to her EV. “How dare you ablest oppress the uncreative to build their own sleds with cardboard and fascist tools of scissors and tape! How dare you mock them by sledding down white snow they will soon never see again because of your fossil fuel cars!”
Students from Grand Valley State University wearing face masks and dressed in black jumpsuits joined Awokie with screams of “ASAB (All Sleds Are Bastards)! Merit is racist!” and threw flaming gasoline drenched snowballs at the sledding children as they insensitively laughed with joy over their own imagination and fun at the expense of the sled less.
The white neurotypical abelist behind this event justified this oppression with their feeble claim that this was a family friendly event that brought the community together. Together that is for the dominant culture to fondly remember how they made the sled disabled feel less valuable and safe in their uncreativity.
The anti-fascist Facebook group Ottawa Objects is now assembling its soldiers to storm the next county commissioners meeting to demand sled equity. When the commissioners demur that this is not a county government issue, Ottawa Objects plans to “burn this mother****er down!”