Xi Jinping Shows Biden His Appreciation for Classified Documents With A Bag of Cash Delivered to His Delaware House by Amazon Prime Air Balloon Delivery
Wilmington, Delaware – Sometimes just a thank you card isn't enough. If you want to extend a thank you to someone who's done something really special for you, send them a bag of cash delivered right to their door.
The challenge: How do you get bags of cash to that special politician quickly, cost-effectively, and—most importantly—safely? And how do you do it in a way that can scale? For these deliveries, you need a balloon that will fly to the designated delivery location, descend to the politician's front door, hover at a safe height, then safely release the package and rise back up to altitude. That's where Amazon Prime Air Balloon Delivery fits in.
Now everybody is talking about Amazon Prime Air Balloon Delivery. That balloon is making its way across the United States, but it's not a national security threat, it’s just Xi Jinping showing President Joe Biden just how grateful he is for the classified documents he has been collecting for the CCP at his Delaware home. It's just Xi Jinping's way of saying “thank you for being awesome, I'm sending you a bag of cash delivered to your front door by Amazon Air Balloon Delivery.”
After all those weekends at his Delaware home collecting classified documents for Xi, Joe never expected anything so special and thoughtful in return.
“I spent a lot of time with Xi Jinping when I was Vice President because we knew that one day I was going to be installed as president,” Biden said. “We were just a couple of politicians helping each other out. So I had my son Hunter travel across the world making deals to help the CCP out for my friend Xi. I had gotten use to feeling like I couldn't go into a 7-11 or a Dunkin' Donuts without getting handed a bag of cash by someone with a slight Chinese accent. I'm not joking. But I never expected getting bags of cash delivered to my front door by Amazon Prime Balloon Delivery! Here's the deal, that kind of generosity makes me blush. Jill, please lead me away before I bldhyindclapding.”
As Joe is counting and stacking the cash, the Ministry of Truth Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre is celebrating the balloon delivery with an announcement that the Ministry of Plenty is increasing the weekly ration of chocolate to 20 grams a week!